Forgive (and Forget?)

Forgiveness.  What comes to mind when you hear that word?  Is forgiveness something that comes easily for you? Is it something that resides on your “to do list”?  Or is forgiveness something you aimed for … but you at times wonder if you have really attained…because you still remember?  There is an old adage that goes, “forgive and forget.”  The first part, forgive, is certainly support in many places is Scripture.  What about the second part though?  What about forget?  Does remembering mean that you have not forgiven?

As human beings we have the ability to remember and recall a good portion of our personal histories. We were created by God with the ability to remember both the good and the bad.  Sometimes remembering tough times is an opportunity for personal and spiritual growth.  Not remembering is a moment in our history is akin to amnesia.  Forgiveness then doesn’t have as much to do with what you remember as much as it does with how you remember.   One key to knowing that you have forgiven is the feelings that arise when your memory recalls an offense against you or someone you love.  Does anger begin to boil up?  Do you think of ways to seek retribution?  Then chances are you are still working on forgiving.  Keep at it.  Ask for God’s help. You will get there!  However, when your memory recalls an offense against you or someone you love and it is just that… a memory.  When you are able to say something like, “yep, that’s what happened” and move on with your day, then chances are you have truly forgiven.  What’s even better?  Consider that remembering may actually be the movement of the Holy Spirit inviting you to pray for the one you have forgiven.  Peace.

Paula Raposo, Adult Faith Formation